An Interruption to Normal Service

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Creating content online is not always conducive to creativity

…and that’s a concept which has haunted me for a while now.

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Hello, I’m Colin and I’m a writer.

I have been a writer since the mid ‘00s and have had my work appear in a range of environments throughout those years. I’ve also been lucky enough to make my living through words (in different capacities) for a long time now.

A short while ago, I began making short video clips about books. That’s probably where you know me from.

In a weird twist of fate, those videos took off and within a relatively short period, I found myself with an online audience the size of which I couldn’t have imagined. For someone who had been producing written content online for so long, it was a strange paradox, but one which I was more than happy to explore.

Due to a number of personal circumstances, instances and catastrophes, I was not in a position (or mindset) to write fiction with any great sense of commitment or purpose, so I was more than content to talk about books in the meantime.

Things continued to grow and I made a lot of new friends. It was a lovely experience, far removed from the lonliness of the writer’s life (which can be an insular and tumultuous existence), but there was also a persistant reminder at the back of my mind that it wasn’t the ‘be all and end all’.

Before long, I found myself working with some companies on book related projects and attending award ceremonies. I was even nominated / longlisted for a Rising Star of the Year award by TikTok. It was all very pleasant, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t writing as much as I should have been, and that I was neglecting my first and truest love.

Personal circumstances shifted, and the darkest of days subsided, which allowed a new sense of clarity to manifest. Suddenly, I was reviewing and revisiting manuscripts, story ideas, scripts and scraps of my written work, and I realised just how much of it there was, and how much more I have left to do.

I was also becoming very aware that I was being perceived as a ‘Booktoker’ / ‘Bookstagrammer’ or, lord forbid, an ‘influencer’. This caused a pretty intense reaction on my part, as that was never something I set out to be. I love sharing things I am passionate about, and nothing brings me more joy than doing so, but that whole scene just isn’t me.

I spent the late ‘90s working in video stores (which helped supplement my time in Art School). Following that, I worked in record stores (even running my own at one point), and various other escapades I won’t bore you with at present. In short, I have always worked within realms of my own interests, and connecting with people through those has been a lifesblood for my for decades.

Which brings me to Booktok / Bookstagram and creating video content in general. There is a sense of homogenization when it comes to so may spaces such as this, and it seems to be increasing. I see the same hooks, the same formats and the same books covered repeatedly and, with that, I find less and less which truly inspires or interests me. I am not casting dispersions on any of the wonderful creators out there. They are doing their thing and more power to them, but there is a format at play which doesn’t always gel with what I am interested in, nor the methods in which I enjoy conveying thoughts and analyses.

I have no desire to speak in the same manner as others, nor do I wish to encourage overconsumption (something which is rife within the space). I grew up too frugally to buy into that mindset. So, I find myself drifting from the online realm in some ways.

Back to my desk, with a pen and a notebook or two.

I took a complete break from it all for a few weeks, and I wrote like a man possessed, knowing that his time is short.

And it’s been wonderful. With a renewed sense of self and vigour, I find myself writing more each day, with ideas formulating and almost throwing themselves onto the page.

But where does that leave us?

Simply put, it leaves us as friends.

I never started making content to do anything other than make connections. I’m old enough to remember when that was the true intent of the internet. To learn and connect.

I will utilize this Substack to maintain contact with you all. To list recommendations in more detail and to update you with regard to my work. The videos will still pop up, and I’m not stopping them altogether, but I don’t wish to feel behest to invisible, yet ever-changing alorythmic criterea, along with an unspoken pressure to churn out content for the sake of it.

If it’s not genuine and heartfelt, there’s no point. There are enough glassy-eyed extroverts looking to attain brand deals on video conent platforms. I have no desire to join them. I’ll be appearing when I have something of value to share. When I can offer you something which I feel will be of genuine benefit.

Regarding the Gothic Book Club, I thank each and every one of you who have participated. I love the titles we have explored and the conversations we have had, but I will be suspending it indefinitely for the time being.

This is not a sad eventuality. Far from it. By focusing more on my writing, the rewards will be greater for us all. I will be able to connect with literature in a deeper and more honest manner and, along with that, connect with yourselves in the same way.

I didn’t want to keep a Book Club going that I wasn’t able to fully immerse myself in. That would be lazy and disingenuous, so I am happy to place it within the confines of a forbidden casket and seal it into the wall for the foreseeable.

In its place we shall continue this journey under a different pretext, but one which I hope will be even more enriching.

That’s enough for now. I leave you with my thanks, my love and my anticipation of the next steps. I appreciate your time, your engagement and your attention. It means more to me than you will ever know.

For now, however, dark and wonderful things await.

NB: I have renamed this newsletter The Devonsville Press, after a movie my artistic mentor Ulli Lommel made with the great Donald Pleasance (The Devonsville Terror).